So, I’m sat here, staring at my screen, feeling a bit stupid. It’s a lovely autumn day in the local park were the trees boast magnificent colours of bronze and hues of red with crushed gold. Complete with a sharp breeze that doesn’t quite cut through you yet but is enough to don the woolly bob hat.
“The trees boast magnificent colours of bronze and hues of red with crushed gold.”
The reason for my latest pang of embarrassment, is that while walking the dog through the park this morning, trying my best to listen to the birds singing against the gentle moan of the wind and ferocious roar from the road; my sentences and words were pouring out of my head and I didn’t think writing this would be any trouble at all. However, in reality the action of sitting down to write for no apparent reason lead solely by my thoughts feels a little silly.
I knew this would happen, it always does…
Everything seems great in my head but actually following through is a constant battle: Who is bothered? What’s the point? You are wasting your time. Do something productive! These are the internal conflicts that coarse through my minds forefront. Yet, twelve lines in and I feel quite liberated and uplifted. This is a good thing. At least I can convince myself for the time being.
Truth be told, I feel quite proud for starting, this is a rare commodity in itself. I don’t get proud, it just doesn’t happen. Countless awards at sports presentations, selected for school boy and county football teams, passing my driving test first time, acing exams, climbing difficult routes in the mountains or accomplishing my annual challenges along life’s journey. Hell, I didn’t even go to any of my three graduations! I’ve always just viewed it as, what’s the big deal it’s what I should be doing right? So why on earth does writing so aimlessly enthuse me so much? I think it’s the freedom. Usually, when I write it is in a scientific format which always seems to have an unescapable mundane undertone with everything objective and evidence based. And so it should be, that’s the point of it. However, almost every four words I write I find myself constantly reading back from the start and re-writing or re-structuring sentences; as a result, writing takes forever and isn’t very pleasant experience. But blog writing, it doesn’t pretend to be anything, this isn’t for anyone else! I don’t even think I’ve read back what I’ve typed once yet! Liberating.
What is the starting point then?
I suppose it’s the point from where it begins, I decided to write this post mainly because I’ve committed to writing a blog and I’m itching to scratch my fingers on the keyboard. I thought this was a great opportunity for an introduction for you as a reader to get to know a bit about me first. I suppose the first thing you should know is I’m crap at communication, especially when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. I suppose I just don’t like to say how I feel, subconsciously maybe it comes from ‘being a man’ even though I know that’s a poor excuse, it just doesn’t come natural to me. This is the fundamental reason writing this thing is so bloody difficult for me. However, I suppose I’ve figured now, if I can’t say it – write it!
“However, I suppose I’ve figured now, if I can’t say it – write it!”
The second thing you should learn is I loath social media and any sort of broadcast about life’s activities. I know, I know, I can almost hear you rolling your eyes in your head or wrinkling your foreheads in a sarcastic gesture – hypocritical when reading this on a blog.
How to justify it all then? Especially when you learn I have both twitter and Facebook accounts. To be honest I think this attitude all stems from when Facebook first arrived on the scene, yes, I remember when it never existed and we had to use house phones or have real conversations!
Anyway, I signed up like all of my friends did and quickly became bored with the fact that I really didn’t care what people were doing with their less than dull status’ and selfies. Hence, it quickly fell by the wayside which brings us to the current day where I am still yet to do a ‘status’ or a ‘tag’ and I can’t remember what the year was the last time I logged on. Now it all just plane annoys me the way people are dependant on a ‘like’ glued to their phones all day, but that’s a topic for another time. With twitter, I use it probably more on a weekly basis, but you only have to look at the list I follow to get an idea of how it’s utilised. Twitter, quite simply put, is my newspaper. I read climbing and outdoor news, keep up to date with current affairs and follow a host of academics that provide endless links to scientific papers that I use for my own work.
So, a blog then? Well, I’ve tried to ‘write’ before as a way of getting my ideas down and expressing myself but it just all feels without purpose when its confined to an ancient Evernote notebook that is probably full of spelling mistakes and incomplete on account of it will never be read. So this blog site is more of a way of getting it all out, but to an audience that chooses to engage rather than forcing it down your throats the way social media does. The content is clear, if interested have a read, if stimulated leave comments or ask questions, if not click back – it’s that simple! But above all writing a blog gives me a platform for expression and channels my communication into something I’ve probably needed for a long time. So the creation of starting point I suppose is two-fold.
“Camping in Australia, mountain biking, climbing and bungee jumping in New Zealand, kayaking in south east Asia, scuba diving off Africa.”
Firstly, as outlined, the need to express my thoughts with directed purpose. Secondary, I’ve done some pretty cool things in my life so far. I have travelled around the world, off-roading and camping in Australia, mountain biking, climbing and bungee jumping in New Zealand, kayaking in south east Asia, scuba diving off Africa and visiting many places all over Europe. Not to mention the countless climbing, camping, kayaking, trekking and biking ventures in almost every corner of the UK. All of which I have virtually zero documentation of because I gave up writing or lost the journals I kept. I never took any pictures either because ‘It wasn’t me’ or ‘I’d rather have the experience with my eyes than through a lens’. I was fine with all this, until I recently purchased a GoPro on a whim. I may as well give it a go, right?
The result – a shock…
but a good shock. Now, I don’t claim to of transformed in to Tarantino overnight but if you have ever made an amateur film of a little adventure you have had the result is great! Even just looking back at a few of the snaps taken you feel the onset of that nice satisfying sensation gently surfacing. Taken together, I almost feel like I’ve been missing out. So hence the secondary reason: to record my experiences.
I suppose the last thing I want to reveal is a little bit about my interests. First and foremost, I am the happiest when I’m active, I enjoy sport of any kind (apart from golf and darts – they aren’t sports) but I think the key is, I’m a doer. Watching sport isn’t really my cup of tea. I’ll watch the reds if they are on and I happen to be in the pub but I’d much rather go out for a run or play sport myself than sit watching telly.
“The passion that fills me when around the wild mountains, rugged coasts, dense woodland or manicured countryside alike is incomparable.”
I suppose that extends to most things, I don’t really watch telly either and if I do its normally documentaries about wildlife or the natural world. Geek alert! I know, but there is something about the natural beauty of the world that fires something primal inside me evoking profound fascination for the intricate detail that nature leaves in her footprints. The passion that fills me when around the wild mountains, rugged coasts, dense woodland or manicured countryside alike is incomparable. It is a call that I want to answer every day, crowding my mind to the point where there is no room left to dream of anything else. It is where I feel at home. Safe, yet vulnerable. It is in the natural world immersed in nature were my heart is, were I love to be.
Hopefully you now know me a little better than before you started reading and will be able to relate to my future posts a tad better. It feels good to finally be away from my starting point! Thank you for reading.
Oh, and here is a few pictures of those magnificent autumn colours I know you are dying to see…